Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize