I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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