I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize