I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
