i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
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They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
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I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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