yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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