What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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