how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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