I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize