On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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