He kissed a someone with a penis
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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