capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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