Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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