It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Randomize
