i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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