No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
