Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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