is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
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I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
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So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.