he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.