no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.