Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um

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  (415): Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um http://tfl.nu/bp62
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high

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  (801): I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high http://tfl.nu/0yq2
  Replies (90) Good night (11883) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs

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  (516): so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs http://tfl.nu/qh32
  Replies (21) Good night (4118) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.

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  (231): P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles. http://tfl.nu/wlbn
  Replies (14) Good night (2636) Bad night (868) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?

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  (650): guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina? http://tfl.nu/cd8y
  Replies (40) Good night (3376) Bad night (1522) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.

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  (860): omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning. http://tfl.nu/wknn
  Replies (6) Good night (2070) Bad night (1211) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...

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  (319): i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself (612): It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool... http://tfl.nu/lubj
  Replies (7) Good night (2763) Bad night (796)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything

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  (609): I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything http://tfl.nu/1m1m
  Replies (11) Good night (1977) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.

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  (732): I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour. http://tfl.nu/7icu
  Replies (7) Good night (1327) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm

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  (602): By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm http://tfl.nu/w681
  Replies (2) Good night (1506) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax

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  (201): Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax http://tfl.nu/ffmj
  Replies (1) Good night (953) Bad night (276) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?

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  (512): I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high? http://tfl.nu/rga0
  Replies (3) Good night (726) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.

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  (502): No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful. http://tfl.nu/s1k5
  Replies (2) Good night (328) Bad night (148)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.

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  (906): We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad. http://tfl.nu/iebd
  Replies (10) Good night (1633) Bad night (229) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....

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  (480): There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night.... http://tfl.nu/234u
  Replies (3) Good night (370) Bad night (284) Order T-Shirt

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