So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
