I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
