she looked like the bat from fern gully.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive