Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.