When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
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So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
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We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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