Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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