Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize