Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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