dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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