matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize