The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize