Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
