I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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