I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
