I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize