Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
