hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
