google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
