WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just google imaged poop.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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