Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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