they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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