I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
