There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wish i was in the wii world.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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