if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize