Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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