Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize