I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You can't special order awesome
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
