like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
