I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
