Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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