Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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