i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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