so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
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Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
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It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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